The Horizontal Rains of Calderdale

A quick
flight from Belfast to Manchester and we’re back in Old Blighty and, specifically, Yorkshire. Yorkshire, the home of Ecky Thump, City vs. United, anyone vs. Liverpool, the Moors and Dales, the Brontes, The Smiths and black pudding. We’re still up in the Northern Kingdoms, close to the Wall and the Black Watch, so the weather continues to be dodgy.
Dodgy as in rain, wind and cool temperatures, with the rain mostly horizontal. The first stop is in Cragg Vale, a tiny village in Calderdale, itself a sub-unit of the Dales, and also home to long-time friends Nick and Jackie. Ah, the luxury of sitting in their 19th Century stone cottage and watching the rain/mist float or stream by parallel to the ground, a function of the wind and the acute shape of the valley. I would be lying to say it rained all the time as we do get the chance to hike over the top land down to Hebden Bridge in the next valley. Hebden used to be a full-on hippie refuge albeit now, partially, gentrified, however the HB Trades Club soldiers on presenting a surprising selection of indie musical acts, including my favorite the Electric Six from Detroit, who we missed by a couple of weeks.

The Robin Hood, a typical Yorkshire pub, is on the road back to Cragg Vale, and we stop off there for a pint and a look at the Tour de France/Yorkshire memorabilia. The road the RH is on is the longest continuous gradient in England, heading up from Mytholmroyd to the top of the moors, so it was included as a guest UK leg in the Tour de France. Regarding the eccentric publican whatever you do, don’t talk about the war.

In-between the tail ends of two Atlantic hurricanes, a visit to Haworth, the home of the Bronte sisters is in order. Haworth is a tourist magnet, not only for the literary history, but for its highly photogenic high street that climbs up a steep hill from the main road to the Bronte house and museum. Everything in the village is period, made of the local stone and is awash with historic pubs, bakeries doing Yorkshire specialities and alternative souvenir stores: How about a read of “The 7 Secrets of Time Travel”?

A quick tour of the literary domicile, where I sign up for Team Branwell, ironically named for the ne’er do well brother who was a dissolute piece of work and ponder the fact that all three sisters, and the brother, died by the age of 39. Inevitably, the voice of Kate Bush “Come home, Heathcliffe” and Dave Gilmour’s guitar gets stuck in the head.
A visit to the stately town of Halifax is added – On one hand, cheap as chips and, on the other, quite impressive with the wonderfully maintained old town center and the surprising “Piece Hall” an enclosed quadrangle dating from the 18th Century where all the trade from the local fabric mills occurred in the day, but is now home to precious boutiques and trendy gin bars.

Saying farewell to Nick & Jackie, we nip up to Skipton to see Larry & Carmel but have a harrowing drive on the way trying to deal with narrow country roads with 2 way traffic but space for only 1. We get stuck once between stone walls on a steep incline with traffic backed up both ways and I have to back up as close as possible to the wall while the opposite car inches past us with wing mirrors just about touching.

CLarry and Carmel are almost retired  from careers as head masters but are still busy entertaining their extended families. There’s only time for a quick overnight stop in Skipton and we’re onto Manchester itself for a rendezvous with Ian & Melanie.  We Airbnb at a penthouse condo owned by a TV documentary maker who specializes in coverage of religion from a progressive and gay perspective with a good dose of football (soccer) on top. The man’s a Man U fanatic and has photos of himself with Sir Alex Ferguson and Pope John Paul II! Out of courtesy not using his name here but check out the documentary “Hallowed be thy Game”.

A pre-func drink at the Victorian pub “Lass O’Gowrie” is a heavy blast of Mancunian atmosphere with Oasis and the Happy Monday’s blasting and us sitting at a table with a poster of The Smiths looking very young. It’s fun to see Ian and Melanie after 25 years but sobering to see the photos of our last meet-up.
Time to move onto the South-lands and, so, the next morning we’re facing a 6 hour drive down from Manchester and round London via the fabled M25 to reach the backwaters of Essex to continue our odyssey. Can we survive the horrors of road works on the M6? Tune in next “week” to find out.